


fat

by kittykitty410



Category: Bandom
Genre: Anorexia, Gen, because i am not good at writing, unreal depiction of ED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7370245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykitty410/pseuds/kittykitty410
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan feels fat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fat

“Spencer’s getting skinny,” Brendon sighed, clicking his phone off.

           Ryan chuckled. “What, is that bad?” He grabbed Brendon’s phone from him, changing his tone to a stern one. “Don’t be on your phone while driving, Brendon!”

           “It’s not bad to lose weight, I’m just scared it’s not in a healthy way. The last time this happened was when he was on drugs, so I have every right to be worried,” Brendon snatched his phone back. He frowned at Ryan, pulling into the drive-thru. “Want anything?”

           “Nah.”

           Brendon nodded, leaning out of the window to make his order.

           Ryan smiled to himself, leaning his head against the window.

-

           “Hey kid, want anything to eat?” Brendon rummaged through his fridge, looking for the leftovers he saved from lunch.

           Ryan shook his head. “I’ve been snacking all day, so I’m not that hungry.” He smiled, “Thanks, though.  _ Mom. _ ”

           Brendon laughed. “Whatever. If you get hungry, you can just eat my ass or something,” he shrugged, making Ryan cringe.

           “That’s actually Dallon’s job,” Ryan laughed. “Speaking of, where is he? You haven’t talked about him today, oddly enough.”

           Brendon shuffled over, plopping down onto the couch next to Ryan. “He’s in Mexico with his family,” He pouted, and Ryan pushed him away. “No service for the next week or so, meaning I have nothing to talk about and you’re going to have to fill that quiet.”

           Ryan watched as Brendon took a bite of his burger, not bothering to close his mouth as he chewed. “Wow, a week without your boyfriend. Is that a new record for you?” He laughed, sticking his tongue out at Brendon. He slid further down the couch, mocking Brendon’s posture. “How do you manage to stay the same weight if all you eat is Wendy’s?”

           Brendon shrugged. “I must have a  _ great _ metabolism. And don’t fucking judge me, Mr. All-I-Do-Is-Eat-Snacks. It’d probably be good for you to eat some actual food once in awhile.” He looked smug as Ryan sneered at him.

           “Yeah, whatever.” Ryan pulled out his phone, pretending to check the time. “Oh shit, I gotta go!”

           “Aw, seriously, man? You just got here!”

           “Sorry, dude,” Ryan rushed to get his shoes on, wanting to leave as fast as he could. “I just remembered I have to pick up the watch I dropped off at the mall.”

           Brendon sighed, “They can’t hold it another day?”

           He stopped, sighing loudly. “It’s been there for two months and they called me yesterday. No, they can’t hold it another day.” Ryan opened the door, feeling his chest constrict. “I’ll text you!” He walked out and shut it before Brendon could say goodbye. It wasn’t until he was at the highway that he pulled over and shut off his car, finally able to cry.

-

He had a record – nine days. He lost about twenty-four pounds during it, but gained back at least ten when he started to eat. He wouldn’t be defeated, though. It just meant more dieting to lose that before he would fast again.

           He wanted to break that record. This time, he was trying for thirteen. The unlucky number. Thirteen, the same amount of months it took for Dallon to break up with Brendon.

           Ryan had just finished showering when Brendon stormed in, angry as all hell about a boyfriend that never cared much about him. Ryan couldn’t blame Dallon. It was hard caring for people, especially if all they want to do is fuck you.

           “What, did he find another boy in Mexico?” Ryan asked after Brendon calmed down.

           Brendon shook his head. “He swore up and down he didn’t cheat on me, but you never know. Did he date me because he pitied me? Did he just never love me?”

           Ryan sighed and hugged Brendon, a repeat of every breakup Brendon had been through playing in his mind. “If he never loved you, I’m sure he’d have given you an even more half-assed reason for breaking up with you.”

           “Ugh, don’t remind me. That was such a bullshit reason!”

           “I know, Brendon,” Ryan let go of Brendon, causing him to slouch in his seat. “I don’t know if you realized I was naked, so, I’m going to get dressed and then you can lament about Dallon all you want.”

           Brendon nodded, but grabbed Ryan’s hand before he could walk out of the room. “Do you mind if I just spend the night here? I don’t want to go back home yet.”

           Ryan sighed, contemplating for a moment, and dropped his shoulders. “I’ll get you some pajama pants or something.”

           Brendon smiled at him as he walked away, waiting until Ryan was in his room before moving to the kitchen to raid the pantry. When that proved unsuccessful, he moved to the fridge. He ended up finding a quart of ice cream in the freezer.

           He grabbed two spoons and walked out into the living room as Ryan was walking into the kitchen, causing a collision that sent Ryan on top of Brendon. Ryan was scared out of his mind that Brendon would realize he was lighter, but Brendon just laughed.

           “Isn’t this the situation you’ve always wanted? Me, with no control. You, on top,” Brendon joked. Ryan laughed along, rolling off of Brendon and onto the floor next to him.

           “You dumbass. Go get changed.”

-

“Maybe…” Ryan thought aloud, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, “We should get a gym membership.”

Brendon craned his neck, looking at Ryan as if he’d lost his mind. “When did this idea occur to you?”

Ryan shrugged. “I’ve always wanted to take up boxing, so, why not just go all the way? Plus, you know I’m not exactly the healthiest person.”

“You’re so skinny, though-”   
“Muscle mass, Brendon. Heard of it?” Ryan glanced at him, hoping he didn’t notice the way he was playing it off.

Brendon sighed. “Whatever. If you want one, go get one. I’m not really into the whole ‘gym’ thing. I’d rather just run around the park for a while.”

Ryan snorted. “Run around the park?”

“The trail, Ryan. Not running around and playing on the fucking monkey bars or whatever.” He slapped Ryan’s arm lightly. “I’d probably get arrested if I did that.”

They laughed as Ryan pulled into the driveway.

-

“How does someone so much skinnier wear a larger pant size?” Brendon questioned, pulling his jeans up for the third time in an hour.

“I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but you’re pretty much a skeleton with average sized muscles,” Ryan shrugged. “I’m pretty sure you’re the skinnier one here. These jeans are way too tight for me.”

Brendon gaped at Ryan.

“What?”

“Have you looked in the mirror, Ryan? I don’t think what you’re saying is completely true.”

“Well,” Ryan sighed. “That means one of us is wrong, and I don’t think it’s me.”

Brendon glared at him while he spoke, disbelieving. “Did you make sure these fit before you bought them?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“So if you were to change into these  _ right now _ , they would fit perfectly?”

“Well, yeah-”

Brendon grabbed Ryan by his wrist, dragging him into the Macy’s fitting room. “We’re switching, then. Come on, don’t act like I’ve never seen you in just your underwear before.”

Ryan gulped as he walked into the family room with Brendon, turning to him to see if he really had to do it.

“Go on,” Brendon urged, pushing him in and locking the stall door behind them. He already had the jeans off and in his hand before Ryan even had the button undone. Brendon sighed, frustrated. “You’re not going to die, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded, fumbling as he pulled his jeans down. He kicked his feet out of them, picking them up to trade with Brendon.

Brendon looked at the tag before pulling them on. The waist was slightly smaller on this pair, fitting him way better. This shocked him, though. He knew for a fact that Ryan wore a much smaller size, not like he said earlier. He watched as Ryan pulled the pants on, his hands noticeably shaking as he did so.

“See? They fit perfectly!” Ryan smiled, knowing Brendon didn’t believe him.

“What the fuck?” Brendon walked over to him, noticing the way Ryan was holding some of the waistband bunched up in the hand resting on his hip. “Let go.”

Ryan shook his head.

“Why not?”

Ryan shrugged and Brendon reached out, yanking Ryan’s hand away from his hip. He sighed as they fell down, looking at Ryan with shame.

He pulled his jeans off, handing them to Ryan to let them know they were going to switch back. It took him a minute, but Ryan eventually gave in and changed, passing Brendon the pair he was wearing. “We’re going to get you measured, okay?”

That triggered something in Ryan, as he was immediately backing away, shaking his head wildly. “No, no no no. Brendon, don’t make me do this.”

“Come on, you can’t go your whole life thinking you’re fat because your jean sizes are bigger than they need to be.”

Ryan shook his head harder, closing his eyes, and Brendon gasped.

“Holy shit, you totally have a disorder!”

“No I don’t!” Ryan’s eyes shot open, flaming with anger. “I’m perfectly fine, these pants  _ do _ fit, I’ve been eating… I don’t see how you could say that!”

Brendon’s shoulders slouched back, his own anger being replaced with sadness for his friend. “What was the last thing you ate?”

“An apple.”

“When?”

Ryan looked Brendon in the eye and sighed, saying, “Breakfast.”

“I was  _ with you _ for breakfast, and you didn’t eat a goddamn thing!” Brendon pointed out to him. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know,” Ryan hesitated, knowing exactly how long. “Ten days ago?”

And, in the middle of a Macy’s dressing room, Brendon started crying,

At first, Ryan didn’t know what to do, just standing there. After a few minutes, he tried to make it better by saying, “Come on, it was only going to last three more days.” He smiled, finding no problem with it. “And, I mean, I’ve done this before. It was only nine days, though.”

Brendon wiped his eyes but made no attempt to stop crying. He just launched himself at Ryan, hugging him as hard as he could. “I fucking hate you.”

“I hate myself, too,” Ryan replied.

And Brendon cried harder.

**Author's Note:**

> haha tag yourself I'm Ryan


End file.
